October 4th

 More than any other day of the year, this day stands out for me.  I am always cognizant of it.  It doesn't matter if it is February 21st or October 3rd, it is always on my mind.

In November 1859, Charles Dickens' classic, A Tale of Two Cities was published.  I would imagine anyone with even a passing knowledge of world literature can repeat the first line of the epic novel.  "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

In a single line, Dickens has summed up October 4th.

Three separate and life-changing events in my life all happened on October 4th.  Two can be classified as the best of times, one was definitely one of the worse.  The aftermath of all three shaped my life and do so even today.

October 4, 1964 - Sportsman's Park - St. Louis, Missouri - You guessed it, baseball was involved.  It was the last game of the 1964 regular season, the Cardinals, in a tie for first-place with the Cincinnati Reds, are hosting the lowly, last-place New York Mets.  Coming into the season-ending weekend series, the Redbirds had won eight in a row, while the Metropolitans had lost eight in a row, and were sitting in last place, 40 games out of first, with a dismal 51-108 record.  

On Friday night, southpaw Al Jackson outdueled Bob Gibson and the Mets won, 1-0.  On Saturday, the Mets clobbered 20-game winner Ray Sadecki and beat the Cardinals 15-5.  It came down to Sunday.  If the Cardinals beat the Mets and Cincinnati beat Philadelphia, the Cardinals and Reds would tie for first. If there Cardinals won and Phillies won, the Cardinals would win the pennant, but if the Cardinals lost and the Phillies won, baseball would have its first ever three-way tie for first.

For a first baseball game, my dad and grandpa had picked out a good one.  You see, back in June or July, they bought tickets to this season ending game, not knowing the importance it would carry.  No one did, because on July 1st, the Cardinals were in sixth place 9.5 games out of first.

My love for baseball is well documented and continues to grow as it has for all my 68 years.  This first game just cemented the foundation dad and grandpa had laid.  Of course, the Cardinals won, 11-5, and the Reds lost, so not only did the Cardinals win the first game I ever saw in person, but they also clinched the National League pennant with that win.  And you wonder why I am so passionate about baseball.

October 4, 1998 - My parent's home - Pocahontas, Arkansas - Another great day, and I can emphasize this enough, it was a really, really good day.   I was working for TWA in St. Louis and had told mom earlier I was going to come down my next "weekend", which was actually a Monday and Tuesday.

As I am sure all of you are aware, just a couple of years before this, my wife Trish and I had divorced.  This occurred while we were living in Naples, Florida.  She and the boys would eventually move to the Atlanta area and I moved back to St. Louis.

My folks had moved to Pocahontas about a year earlier after my dad retired from McDonnell Douglas.  The last three years dad was with McDonnell, he worked with Alenia Aerospace in Torino, Italy working as an advisor as they built McDonnell fighters.  They moved to Pocahontas because that is where my mother grew up and also because her mother, my Granny Dalton was still alive, so she could be there to help take care of her. (Granny would live 15 more years, dying at 98).

So earlier in the week when I told mom I was going to drive down on Sunday afternoon from St. Louis after I got of work, she said, "Great, there is someone I want you to meet."  I said, "ok", and unbeknownst to her I was rolling my eyes thinking "whatever."

It turned out this gal, a schoolteacher they went to church with, was in their small group, which my mother had conveniently arranged to have at their house, not knowing exactly when I would arrive.  This teacher had never been married, and mom was playing matchmaker.  You might know this gal, her name was Marilyn Horsman.

After our Bible study, mom asked Marilyn if she had had anything to eat since lunch, as I had not had time to eat after I arrived.  "I thought I'd make Dalton a hot roast beef sandwich, would you like one." As M recalls, "I knew what she was doing, but I also hadn't eaten yet and I knew what a good cook she was, so I stayed."  Once the hot roast beef sandwiches appeared along with some sweet tea, mom and dad disappeared to the family room, leaving Marilyn and I alone in the kitchen.  I discovered she liked baseball and travel, she discovered I liked books and Coca-Cola, we had both gone to Harding, and she already loved my mom and dad.  God had definitely done his homework

Before I knew it, I was driving to Pocahontas every weekend.  The following summer, July 17, 1999, we said "I do."  Here we are, 27 years later, more in love than ever.

October 4, 2009 - Springhill Suites Hotel - Kennesaw, Georgia - It was shortly after 4 a.m. when my cell phone rang.  I was sleeping in one of the queen-size beds in the room, with my younger son Clayton, who had just turned 18 a month earlier was asleep in the other bed.

My mother was on the other end.  Before she said one word, I knew why she was calling.  "Dalt, dad is gone."  My dad, age 74, had succumbed to cancer after a 21-month battle with the deadly disease.  I was in Georgia visiting Clayton for the weekend.

Before I left Pocahontas to go to Atlanta, I went by to see dad on Thursday afternoon.  His time was short, and he knew it.  I sat by the hospital bed set up in his and mom's bedroom.  I had planned this trip to Georgia a month or two earlier, not knowing this would be the weekend he would die.

We chatted for a bit, he talked softly, but clearly.  I asked him if he wanted me to stay home.  He shook his head no.  "No," he said, "you go see the boys, they need you, and you need to be with them."  He was right.  I had seen him almost every day the previous 21 months, he didn't need me, so I went ahead and headed to Georgia.

Mom called me Saturday afternoon and let me know the end was near for dad.  Marilyn was there with him, as were my brother Barry and his wife Sheila, who, being an RN, and at the time was a member of the Nursing School faculty at Harding. Her presence and calmness were a blessing to all.  I called Barclay, who was attending Georgia Southern University in Statesboro, several hours away.  I told him the situation with his grandpa, and to be ready to meet me somewhere.

After Mom called, I woke Clayton and then called Barclay.  He had a ride lined up and we agreed to meet in Macon at eight, about three hours later.  Time moved quickly, Clayton and I gathered our stuff and drove to Macon to meet Barc.  He arrived about 10 minutes later, and off we went to Cartersville, north of Atlanta on I-75 where they lived with their mom.  We made it to Pocahontas about 7.30 that evening, worn out, but happy to be there.  The house was filled with friends and family, food, hugs, laughter and tears

It does not seem possible that dad has been gone 16 years.  I literally think about him every day, wishing I could take advantage of his practical wisdom.  He was kind, thoughtful, an encourager to everyone he met, and had the gift of always saying the right thing at the right time.  My brother and I were blessed to have him as a father.

Baseball, Marilyn and my dad.  I loved and still love all three, even today, the day all three share, October 4th.

Thanks for spending some time with me as I reminisce.  Be kind to each other.  I do love all of you.