* After getting word of the accident from my stepsister Kerry, I was able to get hold of Mom in the St. Luke's Hospital ER. Mom said she had never felt pain like that. Ever. Keep in mind she gave birth to two boys with big heads. (insert your own joke here)
* I was stunned when she said, my last wish is that "you two boys love each other." She was referring to my brother Barry and me. I told her we did love each other; that has never been an issue. But it bothered me she was using words like "last wish" and "if you remember one thing."
* The day after the break, Barry began a two-day drive from Virginia to St. Louis. On Friday, Marilyn and I began a two-day drive from South Carolina to St. Louis.
* For the most part, I took care of notifying all the friends and family on our side of the family. I also kept a dozen or so of my friends up to date on everything that was happening, as well as Mom's longtime friends.
* Mom's surgery on Friday to repair her broken femur, which was a spiral fracture just below the hip, was canceled almost before it began. As they were administering the anesthesia, her blood pressure plummeted and her heartrate spiked. They stopped immediately and put off surgery for at least 24 hours.
* Fortunately, the heart issues were resolved with medicines, and she was able to rest, but still she was worried the end was near, and she was not shy in sharing that with Barry and me.
* As a general rule, I am not a worrier, but this incident had me concerned. My younger son Clayton called me from California where he lives. His question was simple and to the point. "Dad, should I be worried?" My answer was yes.
* The thing is, and this is what I told Clayton, in the last 18 months, my mother has broken a leg, cracked her pelvis, had a partial hip replacement, broken her nose, had COVID, had breast cancer, had no telling how many UTI's, has dealt with heart and blood pressure issues where it was rising to levels like 210/100. She has been through a lot. I told Clayton all of this and said, "You know son, she's 89 years old and has been through a lot in the last 18 months. Her body may just be saying enough is enough."
* I had never heard my mom talk like this. Neither had M or Barry, and we discussed this a couple of times as we drove across America to the Gateway City. I was thinking about her funeral wishes. Did I know them? Are they written down anywhere? I knew some things, like she was going to be buried next to my dad in Pocahontas, Arkansas, and I knew she wanted congregational singing and one of the songs to be "Be With Me Lord," and she wanted as many of her grandkids as possible to serve as pallbearers. But other than that, I didn't know much. After the Friday scare, I was even mentally writing her obit in my head.
* But in the words of that great movie, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," came this attitude from my mother. Not spoken mind you, but definitely her attitude. "I'm not dead yet."
* When we arrived Saturday afternoon, we drove directly in the hospital. When we got to the room, it was standing room only. My brother was there, as was my step-father Tom. My cousin Rene was there (youngest child of my 102-year-old great-aunt), as was longtime family friend Lisa Childs Moon (growing up, Lisa and Paige Staggs were the sisters I never had.). Sitting in a chair across the room was Gail Wilson, Mom's best friend growing up, who now lives in Jonesboro, Arkansas. I am not exaggerating when I say Mom and Gail have known each other for over 80 years. When I talked to Gail on Friday to tell her about what was happening, her daughter Karen texted me about two hours later asking if it would be ok if they came up. Gail wanted to see Mom. I said there is nothing she would like more.
* During the visiting, talking and quietness after the guests left, mom's nurse Kellee was in and out, as she was on this Sunday. She was the MVP. She was never too busy to talk to Mom, answer our questions, explain medical terminology. She even took 15 minutes this morning to read and dissect mom's MRI from yesterday. I plan on writing St. Luke's praising her work.
* When M and I left the hospital Saturday night, surgery to repair the shattered femur was set for Sunday morning. We did not have an exact time, but were told Sundays were pretty laid back, so probably mid-to late morning. Imagine my surprise this morning when Kellee calls me at 6.50 saying they are doing the surgery at 7.30, hurry up and get here if you want to see your mom. Well, M was in the shower, so we didn't make it before they took her down to surgery. Barry couldn't find his key FOB to his truck (he later did, yay), so he didn't make it either, nor did Tom. As my friend Mike Rager said, "so much for laid-back."
* The surgery took less than two hours. She had no problems with the anesthesia, which we later found out was minimal. When the surgeon Dr. Wegman called me at 10.12a, and I started talking to him, every conversation stopped and all eyes were on me. When he told me she was in recovery and everything had gone well, I did the only thing I knew to do while talking to him. I gave the others a "thumbs-up," and to quote Monty Python again, "there was much rejoicing."
* Later, when Mom got back to the room, she was still groggy, a lot sleepy, but still alert enough to greet everyone in the room. She hugged and was happy to see Tom, she reached out to Gail and let her older son kiss her on the forehead. At one point, when it was just she and I, she said to me with very clear eyes, "I was scared." She repeated those exact words to M later in the day.
* Mom has a long way to go. She'll be in the hospital most of the week, then probably three or four weeks of residential rehab, followed by another four to six months of rehab, and she can forget driving for a while.
* I don't know how close my mom was to dying. I know Kellee was concerned, I know Barry's wife Sheila, who holds a doctorate in nursing and taught nursing on the university level for a dozen years or so years said it was "serious." That was all I needed to know.
* I am a strong believer in prayer. I've seen prayers answered all my life. I know God hears us; I truly believe that. I also know sometimes the answer is no, and I accept God's will, his decisions.
* I reached out to a lot of family, long-time friends of the family and asked them to pray for Mom. Their prayers were heard, and I am very grateful for their love and concern and willingness to lift Mom up in prayer.
* I am also going to list some people by name. All of them are friends, and everyone I am comfortable calling at any time and saying, "I need your prayers." These are the individuals I depend on, that I am closest to. I am naming them because they are always there when I need them, no questions asked. They include (alphabetically); Allison Blair, Donnie Daugherty, Kim Eastep, Justin McGill, Amanda Miller, Mike Rager, Ken Springer, Jeff Walton, and Will Young. There are no words to describe how much I love these individuals.
* Special thank you to Justin Pannell, our minister at Sherrod Ave, Kyle Johnson, the minister at Lafayette, where Mom and Tom attend, and Larry Owen, a retired minister whose wise counsel I treasure.
* My three step-sibs, or if you prefer, my "bonus" sibs, Kim, Jeff and Kerry, who all live in the St. Louis area and deeply love my mother and care for her. Barry and I can never repay that.
* Finally, my brother-in-law Mike Mason, whom I love and respect deeply. I am so grateful he prayed for me and talked to me at a time when I was uncertain which direction things were going to go.
* Back in February, Mom had taken a nasty fall and fractured her pelvis, making it necessary to do a partial hip replacement. There were some complications, and she was put in a medically induced coma and was in ICU for close to a week. One day, while sitting next to her bed while she lay motionless, I was talking to the ICU nurse, discussing mom's case. In no uncertain terms, she said Mom was, "a very sick girl." But just as quickly she added, "but I'll tell you this, she's a tough old bird." Yes, yes she is.
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